As we close out 2014, just wanted to say a few words….It was a roller coaster year, marked by illness, depression, and a slow but sure recovery. And an amazing experience to end the year. Here, in order, are my three “stars” and one wish about this year.
Family and Friends: Mom and Papa. My seestor and her kind fiancé. Aunts, uncles and cousins. All my friends in Toronto, at Howard, at Breathe, in Miami. During the worst parts of this year, from June to November, you lifted me up. For hugs, encouragement, spontaneous dinner invitations, laughs, listening when I was ranting, handing me kleenex when I cried. For being there at the airport when I got home from my big adventure. For your love. If I have recovered from my depression, it is because of you. THANK YOU.May I be there for you in the same way you were there for me.
Yoga: Because no matter what else was happening, placing my feet in samastithi always meant a better day. Because this practice has taught me more about health, effort, love, and letting go than anything else I have tried. Because Marichyasana D is getting easier. Because Svitlana and Christine keep placing me in Supta Kurmasana with infinite patience, believing I am getting somewhere. And Tim Feldmann’s dropback assists were a revelation (Who knew being tossed upside down could be a blessing? )Yoga has brought me friends near (shout out to the open-hearted early morning gang at Breathe) and far (shout out to the amazing yogis from all over the globe who studied with me at Miami Life Center. Check out my course roomie Sydney’s website Sydney Resner Yoga. Proud of you, friend 🙂 Yogis are always kind, fun and compassionate people. They are often vegetarian, animal lovers, travellers who live lightly on the Earth. Their hearts and minds are open. I am grateful for this path, and all who travel it with me.
And that means everyone–busy moms doing a quick downdog while their toddlers crawl underneath them, busy construction workers who meditate, and all those with whom I practice. There are seasons of practice–seasons where you can do more, seasons where you can do less. Working, taking care of family–it’s all yoga. Yoga is about the quality of awareness you bring to Life–the sthitau, or steadiness of mind.
Writing/Books: This space to write about yoga. My short stories and the amazing coaching I have received from Editor and Writer Stephanie Vandermeulen. The escape, or the peace or being wrapped up in a good book. It was Emily Dickinson who wrote: “If it makes me so cold that no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry.” Thank God for the words that feed our souls.
Perspective: A year ago someone asked me a question to which I wish with my whole heart I had said yes. With my depression coloring every interaction, the walls of my world became charcoal. I was a drama queen, unable to understand the feelings of others and convinced my sadness and anger were the only important things, I feel such shame about this now. I wish I had sought treatment sooner. Then I would have the perspective to know that it doesn’t matter who owns the house or whose ex comes for dinner. I wish I had known that conversation with people you love is way more important than an extra half hour of sleep. May I know it now, and cherish the people around me.
Happy, Healthy 2015 to everyone who reads. Back tomorrow with some inspiring ideas for the New Year.